Do It For The Love

Money On My Mind / Sam Smith

I don't have money on my mind,
I do it for the love.

Love what you do and everything will fall into place.

Long hours, hard work, sweat, tears and frustration. Joy, happiness, pleasure, pride and a whooping sense of achievement. No longer disjointed, polar opposites but parts of a contented whole.

Go with your gut; trust your instincts. Soar off cliffs and float with the tide.

Believe. It's called the "leap of faith" for a reason.

Keep the faith.

Expectations

I'm Not Your Hero // Tegan and Sara

I'm not their hero

But that doesn't mean that I wasn't brave

I never walked the party line

Doesn't mean that I was never afraid

I'm not your hero

But that doesn't mean we're not one and the same

BBW 2013 Preview Day Haul

December's hands down one of my favorite months. Other than Christmas (frowns don't stay put for long around all that festive buzz and cheerful decorations), year-end sales, and the promise of a new year just around the corner, it's also when I get to stock up on a whole year's worth of good reads. 

Lots and lots of glorious books! All thanks to the Big Bad Wolf Book Sale, a.k.a. the one where people go to carting two-wheeled trolleys and luggage bags - you won't be leaving empty-handed, that's for sure! Touted as the world's largest book sale, it's been a fixture on my calender these couple of years, and I was lucky to have won preview passes for this year's edition!

*swoon*

The crowd's definitely a lot less on preview day, as it's closed door and by invitation only. Another plus of getting first dips: the higher odds of snagging coveted books that are in short supply. The Hunger Games series, which was advertised on the BBW Facebook event page, was nowhere in sight by time I found my way to the YA section. 

This stunning hard cover, cloth-bound edition of Treasure Island (RM8, what a steal!) was the very last copy I could find lying around the small literature corner. It reminds me of the books you'll expect to find in the libraries of grand English manor houses of Lords something-or-other, no? :P 

 Be The Miracle (RM6), The Night Circus (RM8) and Winter Wonderland (RM8) are the other ones from my stash in the running for prettiest book cover. Haha, yes, I do have a very soft spot for turquoise green and vintage motifs. So gorgeous and dreamy!

Fight Club! I nearly squealed when I saw this. The movie's one of my favourites and no one does dark humour better than Chuck Palahniuk. No. One.

The infamous bookmarks you get with every purchase. This year's pirate theme is especially adorable :)

The one on the left, with Little Red Readerhood (geddit? :P), you get when making a book donation to the Budimas rural library programme. The bookmarks, by the way, were all gone when I made a second trip to the sale in its final week.

This set of 13 Sharpies aren't from the BBW sale, per se, but from a booth that was outside the convention hall. Got them for a really good price, around RM13+. Can't wait to put them to use!

Did you visit BBW 2013? Which books did you get, and what were your best buys? 

Aside from the Alexander McCall Smiths which I always enjoy, I've read Winter Wonderland and it's really fun! Puts me in a holiday mood ;)

Saying Goodbye

Now I'm All Messed Up // Tegan and Sara

Now I'm all messed up
Sick inside wondering who
Whose life you're making worthwhile

But not any more! Moving on is a great feeling and while I do still want to be friends (why not? that's something I've never understood), I've come to realise there are some things you just can't force.

Speaking of that, time will heal wounds and make them better. So don't worry, you might not be ok now, but one day you'll look back - stronger, wiser - and know you're a survivor.

Let go, move on, cut free of the ropes that are binding you back... no one has any right to make you feel bad about yourself :)

Rinse, Dry, Repeat

Spring cleaning day!

At least once a week, mostly on a Saturday or Sunday, you'll see this strange sight laid out on my study table.

I switched from Ronasutra's Mineral Foundation to Make Up Forever's Pro Finish Multi-Use Powder Foundation about a month or so ago (it's awesome, in case you're wondering!). But I hate the idea of double-dipping as I've got hyper-sensitive, blemish-prone skin and I'm worried about contamination.

To get around that problem, I use a clean sponge every time to pat on my foundation. There isn't enough time to clean my sponges daily in the morning, so I stack them aside and wash them all at once over the weekend. And there you have it, my lazy busy career woman's solution ;)

My sponges are from Guardian (RM24.90 for 20) and they're rather well made - dense, firm and able to last at least 3 washes before becoming too rough and grimey. Plus, they're sold in a resealable zip-lock bag so you won't have to worry about dust getting in!

Super detergents

I've been using Daiso's trusty sponge & puff detergent (RM5, very purse-friendly) on and off for a few years now. It gets the job done and I love squeezing out all the grime that has accumulated and watching the brackish water, which takes on the colour of teh tarik, swirl down the sink. I'm weird, I know, but it's strangely satisfying and I recommend doing it! :P

For brushes, my favourites are either a very mild shampoo or e.l.f.'s Studio Brush Shampoo (US$3). It's colourless, odourless and comes in a chic, slightly masculine clear black bottle. It isn't easily available in Malaysia though, so your best bet is to wait for an e.l.f. spree on lowyat.net. I bought mine sometime back from StrawberryGirL.

Otherwise, just use baby shampoo, it's generally as good and more affordable than high-end brush shampoos :)

Guess Who's Back?

bigbadwolfbooks.com

It's dear Wolfie, ashore after a perilous journey across the Read Sea in hot pursuit of the villainous B.A.D. (Book Acquisition Department), who made off with all the books set aside for this year's sale *gasp*.

But fret not - his ships have returned victorious, reclaiming no less than 3 million books for your reading pleasure. Hoorah! Full speed ahead for the Big Bad Wolf Book Sale 2013!

Should you rather shop than sleep (me too!), no problem, drop by Mines International Exhibition & Convention Centre any time - 11pm, 3am, 7am, it's your call - between 6th to 15th December for a serious dose of retail therapy, as the sale goes on for 230 hours without pause!

Phew, it's exhausting but so fun just thinking about it. Talk about making it almost impossible to find an excuse for not visiting. Don't forget your recyclable/luggage/trolley bags as you'll need them to keep your books safe and hands free to pick out more steals.

Take a day off from work if you have to and go during off-peak hours (11am-5pm on weekdays; 2am-6am any day) for maximum shopping comfort. Digging up hidden gems are a lot easier when you don't have to jostle against sharp elbows for standing space ;)

If you've scored preview passes, check your inbox as emails have been delivered with instructions on how to collect those precious passes. These "golden tickets" -  Charlie and the Chocolate Factory FTW - grant bearers access to the sale one day before it opens to the public, and they're highly coveted!

I'll be keeping an eye out for Haruki Murakami's works (sold out really fast like musang king durian ice cream last year), YA gems (Jellicoe Road's my best find to date), pop up books, and The No.1 Lady's Detective Agency series.

See you there? What titles/authors do you hope to find at BBW 2013?

NARS!

NARS is finally here in Malaysia woohoo! I'm a bit worried for my bank account, to be honest :P

"Find your own way, have an open spirit and believe in your own beauty." - Francois Nars 

The maestro himself, Francois Nars

I look like a raccoon when I line my eyes like that :P

I've yet to pop by Pavilion to check out the store but word is it's a little small and product prices aren't displayed at all (nope not on counters, displays or the retail units, nadah), so you'll have to ask retail associates for exact figures.

If you're shy like me and prefer flipping price tags over as discreetly as possible, or have an image to maintain as the kind of person for whom price is no concern (whyy??), you're in luck! :D

Nicole of Nicole's Mirror has compiled a price list here. Girl's a lifesaver! Prices are pretty reasonable given NARS' positioning as a high-end brand. Affordability, however, is subjective.

Personally I do consider RM90 quite steep for a lipstick, but I'll be KIV-ing it, along with the Radiant Creamy Concealer. 

That said, the Guy Bourdin 'Fashion. Glam' holiday collection's so pretty - vintage pin-up looks ohemgee - that it's really testing my resolve not to splurge!

What about you? Are you jumping onto the NARS bandwagon and which products do you have your sights on? :)

Bonjour!

Still can't believe I'm going to Paris next year, ahhhhh!! Someone please pinch me! *ouch*, not so hard :P

Oui, I'll only have slightly over a day at the city of lights, but it's exciting nonetheless to finally visit a place I've dreamt so much about growing up. Not to mention I'm more of a Francophile now thanks to Anna and the French Kiss.

There's so much I want to do there but so little time. Let's see, if I could I'd...
- Visit the Louvre
- Gawk at the Monets at Orangerie Museum and Musée d'Orsay
- Sip on Angelina's divine hot choc elixir
- Taste Pierre Hermé's omg-best-thing-ever macarons
- Find out what's all the fuss over Christine Ferber's jams (Monsieur Pitt's a famous fan)
- Watch an old movie in one of the Left Bank's many cinemas
- Picnic at the Tuileries Garden
- Soak in the literature at Shakespeare and Company
- Show some leg at the Moulin Rogue *wink wink* hehehe

I've sort of sorted Shakespeare and Company, My brilliant plan: When the tour bus stops at Notre Dame, I'll dash across the road to the store, mingle a little, pick a book to bring home and have it marked with the store's eponymous stamp :D

{Toshio Kishiyama}

Books, glorious books. I hope heaven is as well stocked :P

{slowtalk.com}

Stamped on every book bought from the store.

Anything else you'd recommend doing in Paris? :)

See You Tonight

Two summer holidays spent working at a quaint little boutique owned by a young, bubbly proprietor fond of country music has given me an appreciation for banjos and smexy Southern drawls

Just draw out the vowels in "ya'll" in a deep baritone and I go weak at the knees. That's all it takes, really. Easy peasy... but only if you can talk like a cowboy and charm the legs off a filly.

Scotty sounds like he could and heck, I'd gladly listen to his voice all night long. So how could anyone resist his plea of "girl I gotta see you tonight", I don't know. Especially when he sings, "I would drive a million miles just to see that little smile in real life."

*Swoon*

See You Tonight ;)

Official vid isn't out yet but from the teaser it looks a bit like a rehash of I Love You This Big

Late Night Stimulation

Just before drifting off to sleep last night, a renegade fragment of my mind decided it wasn't ready for slumber (wish it had asked my opinion first) and started wandering off on a textual analysis of On The Jellicoe Road.

I love the book, I really do, and the brief literary rumination was enlightening. After last night's sudden burst of insight, I'm all the more incredibly amazed and impressed with just how brilliantly Melina Marchetta has taken two seemingly unrelated narratives, carefully shredded them to pieces and proceeded to join them back into a fragmented whole -- like you would a jigsaw puzzle. Who knew it'd be possible to love a raggedy bunch of fictional characters more than you thought you ever could?

Honestly though, mentally pouring over a book's literary devices in the dead of the night when you're trying to shrug consciousness off your tail, is a few marbles short of cuckoo if you ask me.

[Image courtesy of papaija2008/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net]

Impressionist

I could spend hours pondering a Monet, just thinking up stories to go with the dreamy watercolour scene.

Yeah, I know, sometimes I fear for my own sanity too ;)

In my defence:

Poppy Field in Argenteuil

The Garden Gate at Vetheuil

The Iris Garden at Giverny

Springtime

Clifftop Walk at Pourville

The Sea and the Alps

Everything's Going To Be OK

Carried Away // Passion Pit

Cover Lust

For Darkness Shows The Stars // Diana Peterfreund

Not something I would read (teenage sci-fi/dystopian fantasies aren't really my cup of tea), but ohemgee if that isn't a pretty cover. 

I loved the idea of galactic travel and the infiniteness of space as a child, and my bedroom wall used to have glow in the dark planets held down with blue tack.

This one reminds me a little of Across the Universe.

Weekend Playlist

One Grain of Sand // Ron Pope Ron Pope's so underrated despite being such a gifted singer and songwriter.  Lego House // Ed Sheeran
I Need Your Love // Calvin Harris ft. Ellie Goulding

Gratitude

Thank You for a continuous spate of small blessings and miracles. It's hard to deny angels exist when metaphorical bullets whiz by with barely a centimetre to spare, whether by fluke or design.

I'm a little afraid to pinch myself, just in case I do wake up and find it was all pretend.

Love Somebody // Maroon 5

Cruise (Remix) // Florida Georgia Line ft. Nelly

Healing

The weather recently has been unbearably hot and fiery, but this being Malaysia - the dry spell's occasionally broken by a crazy downpour at the most inopportune times.

There's a traditional Chinese believe that rain on a hot day is a sure-fire way to fall sick, and I've fallen casualty to it.

Nursing a cold during one of the busiest periods at work is no fun.

Words don't flow as smoothly, I'm sensitive and cranky, my judgement's impaired, and the usual gung-ho attitude I have to assignments - near back-to-back loans, interviews, events, photo shoots and all - has taken a beating.

Truth be told I'm exhausted and starved of inspiration.

So as usual when I desperately need my own version of chicken soup for the soul (blatant motivational and self-help mumbo jumbo irritate the hell out of me), I've turned to Owl City for healing.

Super Honeymoon // Owl City

West Coast Friendship // Owl City
Works all the time; don't know what I would do without.

OC's almost my religion.

Musings

Melina Marchetta's Jellicoe Road has been my bible of late, as Jonah Griggs reminds me very much of a certain someone I know.

In a way, you could say I've been drawing comfort and strength from how familiar Jellicoe Road has become over repeated readings.

Almost like the close friend you no longer keep secrets from - except I can't really confide to mine because I've just come to truly appreciate the brevity of "it's complicated".

I'm both terrified and happy. Anxious - when am I ever not besieged by some form of anxiety anyway? - yet content.

It's a strange but euphoric medley of emotions, which I'll be cradling close to me for as long as I can.

Please don't wake me up just yet if I'm dreaming.

Diane Young

Diane Young // Vampire Weekend
Don't you think Diane Young channels Peggy Sue? The vibe's definitely a lot more contemporary but stylistically, (I'm convinced) Vampire Weekend borrowed a page from Buddy Holly.

Which is rather ironic as Diane Young's a very clever camouflage for 'dying young'. Mmhmm.

Or is it all merely in my head?

Peggy Sue//Buddy Holly

Vices & Virtues

Sometimes when the going gets tough and it feels as though life passed me the shorter straw, my mantra's: "good things come to those who wait."

It's true. Just that waiting sucks too.

But patience, my young padawan. Patience... Alas, a virtue I don't always have.

I know, however, that I'll never need designer togs and totes to feel happy. Now, you wouldn't hear me complaining if they were to fall into my lap under legit circumstances, but honestly I don't think I could justify spending (very) good money on unnecessary luxuries.

Being practical is a virtue I have too much of.

Except when it comes to salon maintenance of my hair.

Catch-22

I have this tendency of setting the bar very high for myself. The problem with being so single-minded and goal-driven is the very real danger of developing tunnel vision, the symptoms of which I'm now wiser at recognizing as a warning bell of worst to come should they be allowed to fester.

Sometimes I find myself so terrified at falling short of expectations, real or perceived, that I freeze up and allow myself to be consumed by the black tendrils of doubt. There are times too when I mercilessly dawdle on past episodes and pick on my naivete and lack of finesse till I'm black and blue within.

Someone once said to me, "You're quick to make excuses for others and overlook their shortcomings, but you're so hard on yourself." Maybe. I stopped blogging for a bit and quietly removed all links leading here from Facebook and Twitter one evening after re-reading my previous posts.

To say I was appalled at some of the typos and grammatical errors I had made would be an understatement. What's more, I felt many of my posts had no real value to anyone else but me, as a chronicle of my (oft painfully awkward) journey growing up.

Writing isn't just my passion and therapy - it's my bread and butter. Editorial work for a magazine, which pays my bills and keeps me from being a starving wordsmith, feels very much like a dream job at the moment. So perhaps you're able to imagine my terror at someone googling my name, finding this blog, and using it to judge my skill as a writer.

I love the joy in stringing words together and making sense of them as a whole, but I do have to work hard at it. I'm doing it professionally 5 days a week for most of the day, that when I get home and blog I just want to express a certain thought or feeling without overthinking it. I do very little self-editing here and most of what I choose to publish is done at the spur of the moment. My inner critic squirmed nevertheless and I promptly pulled the plug.

But I miss blogging on the fly and sharing random bits and bobs I come across on my exploratory tracks through the net. We'll see how this goes.